Who says you can’t go home? No, this isn’t my first child, Chillable Red. It’s a dark red blend, and it’s good as hell. But man does it also manage to hit me in that nostalgic college way. It's fresh, but accessible. I also woke up with a massive hangover, because the danger of boxed wine is that you're not finishing off a bottle. With a box, you're wading into I Love Lucy's falling-out-of-the-grape-bucket territory.
This is where I get on my pedestal, which is made out of cardboard, to say that Franzia is a legitimate wine contender. This bolder variation has a fullness without going too far into sweet territory. It also has a buttery tang, adding an interesting layer of flavor that elevates it beyond a run-of-the-mill boxed red. I can’t count the times my friends and I shared an expensive bottle of garbage wine, pretending to care about it, when Franzia would have done the job better.
That said: Y’all have to work on that spout mechanism, because I almost chose sobriety over the battle it took to get it open.
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