The following post contains spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is a deeply horny movie. For two-and-a-half hours, the film builds constant sexual tension between pretty much every single lead character until in its big climactic finale, where Rey and Ben Solo finally share a very awkward kiss of death. But there's another very horny question lurking between the lines of The Rise of Skywalker that must be addressed: Who did Darth Sidious also known as Sheev (yes, Sheev) Palpatine fuck?
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Now, it might seem unnecessary—and somewhat rude—to delve into the personal, sexual life of a fictional character, but this stuff is rather important in the Star Wars universe. This is a series that's obsessed with lineage, that's based on powerful family lines, and has already forced us to confront the equally awkward sexual exploits of noted 900-year-old green alien, Yoda.
And in The Rise of Skywalker we finally learn that Rey is actually the granddaughter of Palpatine. Her parents—one of which is the child of Palpatine—abandoned her on Jakku to keep her safe from her grandfather who was aware of her power. We briefly see Rey's parents, but we don't learn their name or anything about them. The woman who bore Palpatine's child, who presumably had sex with Palpatine himself (that's how humans reproduce), is never named in the movie. It is implied that Palpatine fucked, and fathered a child who then had a child of his/her own. But Abrams never bothers addressing any of these key details in the film.
So, considering this is all still something of a mystery, let's dive into Palpatine's past and the lineage that led to Rey, the eventual savior of the galaxy.
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What do we know about the Palpatine family and Sheev's life?
Little Sheev was born in 84 BBY (Before the Battle of Yavin in Star Wars: A New Hope) to a powerful family on Naboo. The eldest son of Cosinga Palpatine, Sheev is said to have murdered everyone in his family in 65 BBY, leaving him as the last known member of House Palpatine. Afterward, Palpatine was initiated into the Sith Order by his master Darth Plagueis, who Sidious would later kill as well.
With help from his master, Darth Sidious entered into politics as his alternate identity Sheev Palpatine and became a senator for his homeworld of Naboo in the Galactic Senate. From there, we know most of the rest from the movies. He turned Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side and together they overcame the Senate. He then became the first Emperor of the Galactic Empire, and ruled the galaxy until he was killed by his pupil Darth Vader in 4 ABY (After the Battle of Yavin). Of course, in The Rise of Skywalker, we learn that Palpatine used unnatural Force techniques to return and attempt to regain control of the galaxy until he is presumably destroyed by Rey for good in the year 35 ABY.
Did Palpatine have a wife?
In what's known as the non-canon legends history of Star Wars it is clear that he never married, but there were rumors that he might have fathered children. In non-canon material it is said that Palpatine had a number of concubines and never took a wife in fear that he would produce a legitimate heir. One of these non-canon concubines was Roganda Ismaren, a former Jedi who survived Order 66, and lived for a time at Palpatine's side. As the Star Wars Wiki explains:
In 4 BBY, Roganda gave birth to her son, Irek Ismaren, and began to train him as a possible heir to the Emperor. However, upon Palpatine's death in 4 ABY, Roganda did not have the necessary support to make a play for the throne. She retreated back to Belsavis and began to train her son for a future attempt to take control of the Empire.However, in actual Star Wars canon, Palpatine never had a wife, or concubines or any children that we knew of—that is, until The Rise of Skywalker revealed that he did somehow father children.
So who are Rey's parents?
The truth is, we still don't actually know. We can assume, given the influence non-canon Legends has on the Star Wars films, that Rey's parents are either the son or daughter of Sheev and his wife or concubine. Considering Rey was Born in 15 ABY, 11 years after Palpatine's death, one would assume that her parents would have been born somewhere between 10-4 BBY, making them somewhere between 19 to 30 years old in the flashback we see in The Rise of Skywalker. With this timeline in mind, it is possible for Rey's grandmother to be Roganda and her father Irek—or some equivalent character in the Star Wars universe. Unfortunately, at this time, we don't much at all about Rey's parents or who mothered Palpatine's child. We have some approximate guesses, and given that this is Star Wars, it'll probably be explored soon in some auxiliary canon content.
Did Palpatine fuck, then?
As I mentioned before, Rey's parents likely would have been born somewhere between 10 to 4 BBY. Revenge of the Sith—in which Palpatine is horribly deformed when his own Force Lightning is deflected back at him—takes place in 19 BBY. It's most likely that—if his child was created through traditional biological means of reproduction that we know of—he fucked sometime after this attack took place, meaning his genitals were left in working order after his injuries. It's also possible that he fucked before the events of Revenge of the Sith, making Rey's parents (or one of them at least) closer to their 40s at the time of her birth. The problem is, though, that neither of them looked quite that old in the flashbacks we see to Rey as a child in 15 ABY. If this is the case, then we can conclude that Sheev did, in fact, fuck. And, sure, he might be an evil, galactic tyrant responsible for the deaths of millions and the destruction of full planets, but good for him for getting laid at least once in his long, horrible life.
There's one other possible answer to the "Did Palpatine fuck?" question. And that would mean that he never actually had intercourse. One could theorize that he bore a child through some sort of space artificial insemination, or something closer to what we've seen in canon Star Wars material. In the canon comic Darth Vader No. 25, it is revealed that Palpatine somehow used the Force to manipulate midichlorions to impregnate Shmi Skywalker. Now, I'm no space biologist, so it's unclear if in doing so Palpatine somehow transmits his own DNA in the process of Force Insemination. But maybe he used some sort of similar Force trick to make his own child? Seems like an awful lot of effort when he could have just, you know, gotten laid.
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