Ray McElrathbey's been through something only a few on this planet will ever undergo: A life worth Disnefying. In 2006, as a redshirt freshman football player at Clemson University, McElrathbey took in his little brother, Fahmarr, so he wouldn't go into foster care. For weeks, McElrathbey hid Fahmarr in his stuffy dorm room, pocketing college-cafeteria food to bring upstairs to him. Eventually, Clemson found out McElrathbey was raising a teenager in, again, a dorm room, leading to a battle with the NCAA that surprisingly ended well—he was granted a waiver that allowed him to start a trust fund in Fahmarr's name.
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In Safety, out this Friday on Disney+, director Reginald Hudlin fictionalizes McElrathbey's year raising his brother. Which means that McElrathbey's life has been... Disneyfied. If you grew up on Disney's secret-sauced sports classics such as Miracle, Field of Dreams, and Remember the Titans, then you already know what that means. When Disney takes on sports, the result is usually a brilliant blend of absurdism, one-liners, good and bad, gross hyperbole, and genuine, tear-inducing inspiration. The formula is at its best in Safety. McElrathbey's shitty-dorm-room roommate is a Long Islander offering his fictional counterpart plates of pasta and screaming mangia! Ringtone? Outkast, "Hey Ya!" Coaches wailing C'MON RAY in the way that only football coaches in football movies do. We won't spoil it, but yes, there is a scene where the entire team piles into one room, the passionate plea is made, passionately, you'll listen to those Rudy strings, and there—I'm crying, you're crying, we're all crying.
Now, McElrathbey lives in Atlanta with his children. And even though he moved past Clemson University after 2006, there's really no mistaking him for anything other than a Clemson Tiger. When we Zoomed with McElrathbey a week before Safety's premiere, he was decked out in orange, talking about the Disneyfication of his life, fatherhood, and what he was really listening to way back in 2006.
ESQ: Aside from your character, I feel like the real star of the film is its 2000s hip hop music. You have “Bring 'Em Out'' set to highlights, “Hey Ya!” as a ringtone.
Ray McElrathbey: See, those days, Atlanta was going through like this whole snap phase. I was a big Jay Z fan, even to this day. I'm always big on classics. The O’Jays, Jeffrey Osborne. People that were featured in this movie were people I was actually listening to at the time. Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, so yeah, it was big. I'm a big Outkast guy as well, don't get me wrong.
ESQ: I'm sure people have been asking you to go back to that specific period in your life—but I’m curious how that time in your life influenced you as a father now.
RM: I always remind my brother of the time, ’cause he always thinks his part in this whole situation is miniscule. Like, Nah, dude. You allowed me to practice, and that improves my son's life. And that's bigger than anything. I am very thankful for the opportunity to go through being a parent without actually having a scorecard. ’Cause your kids are your scorecards, a lot of the time—people see your children and see how well you're doing. And so, just to have him as someone I can lean to. It's like. OK, here's one of the kids I raised, propelled me forward to be a loving father in my own life. ’Cause I understand that the biggest part is just being there. And then everything else you can work out. You know, money might come soon, but as long as the love is there, you'll be OK.
ESQ: I mean, how many men get an opportunity to be a sort of father that young, and then later in their life, have children of their own?
RM: I'm thankful. It was an opportunity that most people don't get, to practice being a parent before you're actually a parent. Because there was no expectations as well. Everybody wanted me to be okay, but nobody expected me to be the world's greatest parent because of my situation.
Photo Credit: Chuck ZlotnikHype, high-fives, go team, etc.
ESQ: Were you at Clemson when they filmed the scenes there?
RM: Yeah, I was there. It was way different because I was back in Clemson, at a football game. Before that game I was named an honorary captain. I got to go to the middle of the field and stand in the middle of the field while all the fans were in the stands, and it brought me back to a place I hadn't been in a while and it was emotional… It's wild, because as an athlete—well, just as a person—you have moments in your lifetime that bring you nostalgia. Even songs you'll hear or things you remember. And I got to do it again. There's not too many other athletes that get to go back and receive the same fanfare. And for me, the fanfare was bigger when I came back than when I left, and just to be able to have that opportunity is crazy.
ESQ: I feel like you watching the movie back might have felt crazy, too—I'm sure it was a painful time in your life in a lot of ways.
RM: I learned from my pain, so even the most painful times of my life, I turned around and made the most influential [time in my life]. Prime example: I was kicked out of elementary school. I was a bad kid growing up. But it was actually the best thing that happened to me educational-wise, other than going to Clemson, because I went from being in a classroom with 30 students to being one on one with the teacher—a lady named Mrs. Jones, and she drilled me. We used to start each day doing a crossword puzzle and end each day with a movie ’cause I moved through the curriculum that fast ’cause it was just us two. By the time I made it to middle school, I didn't need to be there. That set me in the right direction.
ESQ: I don't know about you, but I grew up on these kinds of Disney sports movies—super feel good, have the swell of music at the end...
RM: When Disney said they had my movie—it was only one movie that I thought about when they came to it. It was Angels in the Outfield. There was a kid in that movie. I think his name was JT. His thing was almost like, It's gonna work out. That was always his saying. That's kind of how I live my life. ’Cause I had times when I was in foster care—and they were in foster care. You want your family to come get you, and then you sit there and you wonder: Why me? What makes me different? Why can't I have the things that all these other kids have? And so, movies like Angels in the Outfield spoke to me way back then. If my movie can touch people the way Angels in the Outfield touched me? That's more than I could ever ask for.
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ESQ: Safety has those Disney beats in it, where there's like the overly Italian roommate, a school dance where everyone's cheering. Was there anything you saw where, you're just like, This is amazing, or silly?
RM: Something that did not happen?
ESQ: There's no way you had the Italian roommate saying, “Mangia!”
RM: Oh, well no, but the people were composites of individuals. Now, while I didn't have an Italian roommate, my roommate spoke to the character that that gentleman was. But there are things in the movie [that were different]. I have seven siblings—you would think that because of the movie I only had one sibling. I had three younger brothers, not just the one, and then I also took care of my sister while she was in high school. I had custody of her and she stayed with me until she graduated high school. So as far as things that happened that didn't happen, as far as the antagonist in the movie, the NCAA is not as bad as portrayed, ’cause they did come through for me. They didn't have to do the waiver, but they did. And to let everybody know that me and my parents are wonderful. We love each other, my family is a tight-knit family, we go through our things as most families would. But I love my mom, I love my dad, and I'm grateful to have them as my parents.
Photo Credit: Steve Swisher"Mangia!"
ESQ: The first part of what you said I wanted to ask about too, because I feel like some people might watch this movie and think: Look at the good the NCAA can do when they support student athletes.
RM: Yes.
ESQ: I agree—I think the NCAA really did something good in that scenario. But as you see it right now, in 2020, do you feel like they have more to do, or is there something you think they can do to better help student athletes?
RM: It's a slippery slope, ’cause when I was in school, I would have, I guess, campaigned to get a check. But at the same time, I'm not sure where all the money would come from and who decides who gets what. What determines that? … I don't know enough about the moving parts, because when I thought about being paid and I was doing the study on it for school, I went to our athletic director. She was in charge of the finance department, but she sat me down and she showed me how, yes, football is operating in the black, but all these other programs are operating in the red. So if you paid the football players, you'd have to cut the rowing team, the swimming team, the basketball team, the track team, and so, is it worth it? And then the opportunity that the NCAA does provide for a number of gentlemen, being 85 scholarships, that for a lot of gentlemen otherwise wouldn't be going to college. I think we should try to jump on some of the good as well, and not just harp on the shortcomings.
ESQ: With everything we see in the movies—themes of fatherhood, brotherhood, the NCAA, young relationships—is there something you'd want people to take away from it?
RM: Oh, I got a million takeaways. Family is everything. At Clemson, one of our mottos is "all in," and that just speaks to the dedication you gotta have as far as family, team, all the things you do in life. Effort breeds opportunity, so if you want opportunity, you need to put in the effort. Another thing that I learned at Clemson is to always start with myself. In order to fix the problems of the world, I need to start with myself. I have a role in the movie as a principle—I get to say something and to bring the team up. And that was one of the things we used to always say when I was younger. You repeat after me. Once the task has begun.
ESQ: Once the task has begun.
RM: Never leave until it's done.
ESQ: Never leave until it's done.
RM: Be not labeled, big or small.
ESQ: Be not labeled, big or small.
RM: Do it well.
ESQ: Do it well.
RM: Or not at all.
ESQ: Or not at all.
RM: Hard work on three. And then that's it.
ESQ: Hard work.
RM: That's my takeaway.
ESQ: I'm gonna steal that, just to tell myself in the mirror.
RM: That's typically how I deal with life—do it well or not at all. Just go for it, ’cause what else do you have to live for if not yourself? You got your family, you got everything else, but if you don't do it well, there's no point in doing it at all.
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